Criteria

Body Mass Index is just for the birds,

diets are only for healthy type nerds.

Pills and the potions are all such the craze,

to make you much slimmer in just a few days.

I still drink my pop and drive thru a lot,

and throw back those shakes until I can’t spot,

my feet when I’m standing with clothes or without,

or clip my own nails without passing out.