My Fortune in Writing

Took my Wife to Panda Express, Even now Try to Impress. Gave us Cookies – Sure they Do, Mystic Fortune must be True. Superstitious I am Not, Though will Stick with what I Got. I write Rhymes Just for Fun, My Humor ain’t for Everyone.

The Crazy Bone

If you Hit the Crazy Bone, It might Put you in the Zone. Pain, to Numb, to Ting-hell-ling, Swear Words from your Mouth might Sing. Evolution true or Not, Pros and Cons they Can be Fought. Evidence is What you Need, Point of View you Sure can Plead. I believe the Body’s Changed, Some folks … Read moreThe Crazy Bone

My Alarm Clock

To get me Up I set the Thing, Then I dread When it will Ring. Agony is Self-Imposed, Insane Logic is Exposed. The Only case I Acquiesce, When I Wake up in a Mess, If the Time left on the Clock, Delays the Punishment of Shock. But the Thing that Jerks my Jaws, If I … Read moreMy Alarm Clock

Clumsy

Why use Cups when Got the Holder, couldn’t State it any Bolder. Directly to Your mouth can Feed, Longer straw is All you Need. Lemons into Lemonade, great Ideas from Goofs are Made. Spilled my Drink and said, “Oh dear,” then Though I’ve got something Here. Pets would Like it for a Lick, Swimming Fish … Read moreClumsy

Football? Football?

Who has the Right to Use the Term, there are Two Sides and They hold Firm. Champions boast To the World, Arguments for Each are Furled. Great Athletes they Play both Games, the List too Long to Name the Names. The Truest Test without Fanfare, Switch the Balls and Play from There.  

Long, Long Hair – Long, Gone Hair

Long, Long Hair ‘til almost Nine, Long, Gone Hair this Gem of Mine. Was a Time when She was Small, now She’s growing very Tall. Time goes Slow – then Time goes Fast, plead the Memories to Last. As She’s making Life’s Impact, hope my Marbles stay Intact.

Immigrant

Immigrant to Foreigner, Aliens sure Cause a Stir. Reality is What I See, for They make Up most of Thee. I’m a Mutt and Proud to Be, no Mixed Blood there’d Be no Me!

Sex in Seconds Flat

As I watch “Early” TV, mix of Products what I see. K-Y advertises That, can have Sex in Seconds Flat Guess there’s Reason for the Rush, demanding Lives seem to Crush. As I sit Here at my Age, “Seconds” reach another Stage. Like when Joints start to Lock, Cable News I want to Block. Reading … Read moreSex in Seconds Flat